This is my first official Mothers Day and in true mom fashion, I woke at 5:30am… No sleeping in for this mom. Bassil usually nurses in the middle of the night but I guess he decided to let me get a full nights sleep! Dogs started barking so I fed them, little guy finally woke up, got him fed then back to sleep, did the dishes, started laundry, made tea and now here I am… sitting in a quiet house enjoying the moments before the world wakes up which gives me time to reflect and get a little blogging in.
As a kid, mothers day didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I love my mother dearly but it was always just a day to go to the park, make her dinner and spend some family time together. It was a special day sure, but I never felt like I needed mothers day to let my mom know how much I love her. To me it was just another holiday. It was pretty much simply a day where she got to call the shots. In true mom fashion, she still continued to put us first on this day and would plan something that we would enjoy as much as she did. Now that I am a mother this day has a whole new feel. Not because it is now about me, but because I have changed.. I have joined this elite group of people known as mom. I see the world through a new lens and I will never be the same again. Reflecting on the past 7 months of being a new mom, I am overwhelmed and humbled at how my life has forever changed. On this Mothers Day, I look back to these changes and what I have learned and discovered by being a mom…
I am a SUPERHERO! And if you are a mom, own this title!!! Every mom out there is superwomen in disguise and we never knew we had this power in us until we became mom. We can breastfeed while making dinner. We can do the laundry, dishes, clean the floor and windows, make the bed and put away clothes all during the time of our little ones 30 minute nap. We can handle a crying baby, screaming toddler, barking dogs and a phone call all at the same time. We can work a full time job, wake up for nightly feedings and still manage to wrangle a little one(s) to get ready for school, daycare or nanas while still being on time for all of it. We can handle sleep deprivation (barely), and starvation beause these little humans that run our lives needs are much bigger than ours.
I am STRONGER than I ever knew I could be. I will make the toughest decisions of my life regarding my baby. I am responsible for a human life and everything I do will impact him so there
is no longer such a thing as a small decision. Every decision has now become a mountain that I must climb and I will forever live with any of the consequences that may come along. I will screw up, a lot. But in the process I will trust myself and know that these screw-ups are meant to teach us and I will be ok with that. My momma bear is strong and NOTHING will ever stand between me and my little one. I will protect him with all of my ability and have discovered that I can hdle anything.
I have become more VULNERABLE than I ever realized I could be. This
little human being holds my heart in his tiny hands. And I know there will be times that I will feel my heart is breaking. There will come a day where he will no longer need me in the same way. He will have to spread his own wings and soar and crash while I stand back and pick up the pieces and encourage him to keep moving forward. I understand this and own this as part of being a mom.
I never knew this kind of LOVE. It’s different than I could have ever imagined. And no one other than a parent can truly understand the love for a child. I never realized how complete I could feel until I had a child. I was meant to be a mom. I was meant for my heart to expand so big that it could literally explode. To look at that precious face and know that he loves me back is the most incredible feeling.
It will never be about me again.. And that is perfectly ok. I will forever think about my little guy
ith every decision I make. I will think about how everything I do impacts and affects him. From what I eat and cook to what I say and how I treat those around me. He will watch my every move and I am aware that I will be one of his primary influences and will always try to be on point with how I am teaching and shaping him.
I feel a stronger bond with my own mom.
Looking at my little guy and the immense love I feel for him I realize that my own mom had and has the same feelings for me. I was her little one a long time ago and she looked into my eyes with the same incredible love, hopes and joys that I have for my sweet baby. I now see my mom through a new lens and understand the pain, joy, and sacrifices she gave for me. And because of this alone, Mothers Day has a new meaning. I appreciate my
mother more than I will ever be able to express. I realize the heartache she went through when she was worried about me and the sacrifices she made in order for my own dreams and aspirations to come true. I understand how she ALWAYS put me first before herself so that I could become a strong, self-reliant woman. She has stood beside me and behind me nudging and
guiding me all my life. She has always wanted the best for me even if that meant she herself would go without. She took pride and joy in my accomplishments as she stood quietly in the background so I could shine. She always would listen to my rambling on and on even though she had her own things going on that she probably needed to talk about and work through. She has always been there for a hug or an ear or the distance that I may have needed even if it broke her heart to see me fail. She knew that through my trials and struggles I would become stronger even though she desperately wanted to take my hand and make it all easier for me. She has been my rock, my support, my guide and teacher. She has lifted me up, let me fall when I needed it and always been my shadow of encouragement and support. I know all of this now in a way I didn’t before because I am a mom. She is the strongest woman I have ever met! She has molded me my entire life to become the mom that I am and will become because there is no better job in the world.
On this Mothers Day I am forever changed. And it is all because of you mom. I love you.